COVID-19. The pandemic has affected each of us differently and it has been the hardest year for many. Lonely, scary and so much unknown.
Pregnancy is such a beautiful and emotional time in life. There is nothing more incredible than carrying and growing a tiny human for 9 months. Although pregnancy is amazing, it is also hard. You are vulnerable, you are tired, you are not feeling like yourself. To the mama’s who made it through their pandemic pregnancy, congratulations. You are so much stronger than you think. And to the babies that we were gifted, thank you for being the silver lining of 2020.
Navigating family life with a husband in medical school and residency feels almost like a game, trying to plan out when the best opportunities for that next chapter are. We thought we planned it all.
Dear Covid Baby,
We thought we planned it all. We saved and saved with the goal of Mommy being able to stay home with you for longer than with your big sister. 6 Months of maternity leave! What a blessing in this society! Your due date aligned perfectly with our plans, you would be born right before our big move from Pennsylvania to Florida and we would have four weeks of all of us in the Sunshine State before Daddy would have to go back to work. So exciting!
Your pregnancy was great, no major issues. Another blessing. Then the craziest thing happened- everyone starting talking about COVID. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t take it seriously at first, and I never thought it would actually become a big deal. Your dad did though. You’ll learn, he’s always the wiser one!
In March, PA started to become prepared for the pandemic. Work let me start answering triage calls from home, which was another blessing. I was able to keep you safe and able to keep your big sister out of daycare.
The first time I felt panic was walking into an appointment for an ultrasound followup. I was alone because only one person was allowed at appointments now, but I was so excited to see you again! As soon as I walked through the doors, I was “greeted” by three healthcare workers covered in PPE. After a quick temperature check, I entered the elevator and as the doors closed, I cried. I cried with fear, with sadness, with so much emotion. But there you were, happy and healthy and wiggling on the ultrasound. Thank you for giving me that smile.
On April 28, the hospital was quiet. Another temperature check. A preliminary COVID swab. Gowns, masks, face shields. But there you were. Crashing into the world in such a dramatic, and appropriate 2020 way. Thank you for giving me that smile.
Your pregnancy was beautiful. It was special. But it was hard. Hard in a way that pregnancies shouldn’t be.
You didn’t get to meet all of the beautiful people we are blessed to have in our life. You didn’t get to meet your great grandparents. And I never once thought I’d have to worry if you would ever get the opportunity to. 5 months later and I’m still hoping for that moment.
We thought we planned it all.
But I have to thank you. My sweet, COVID baby. You have been my reason to smile this year. Every day has been a blurry repeat of the one before it. But you are the one thing that keeps changing. You are growing everyday and you are my joy.